Home Is Where The Heart Is But Where's My Heart?
by MerciaLachesis
Summary: Everything about today started off as normal. Expected. Luna has a mission. She needs to go to America. She lies. She meets some strange men. She re-evaluates. Madame Yelena is hesitant. So... normal. But nothing about this day has been ordinary, she realises finally. Neither will tomorrow. Really everything has changed because of today. PART SIX of the Under the Moon series.
**A/N- Hi guys! sorry I haven't updated in a while, the usual "I had exams!" applies here. Not to mention my parents don't really approve of me writing for leisure instead of school. So I basically spent the last two months studying and for some reason my writers block cleared up the day before my exams so yay. Which is kinda bad timing but hey... better late/too early than never right?**

 **Anyway enjoy.**

 **P/s- I don't know why I felt the need to add Halsey lyrics but it looked cool and was appropriate for the fic so meh. In case anyone is wondering the lyrics are from New Americana, Gasoline, and Castle.**

 _We know very well who we are._

 _So we hold it down, until the summer starts._

 _What kind of dough have you been spending?_

 _What kind of bubble-gum have you been blowing lately?_

 _…._

 _Well my heart is gold_

 _And my hands are cold._

 _…._

 _Sick of all these people talking. Sick of all this noise… tired of being poised…_

 _They wanna make me their queen._

* * *

They don't want to make any more mistakes with this next Widow. And they aren't going to. They must have her absolute loyalty. Luna seems to be the perfect candidate.

Top of every class and beautifully deadly. Perfect. The only problem is her commitment. Always distracted, always saying her opinion, skipping class. She'll be perfect.

They take her out of the ballet class early and she drifts out en pointe. She smiles sweetly at them - unfitting for someone at the academy - and follows them through the halls.

"Do I have another mission?" She asks after a while, excited. She's still only ten years old.

"No." Replies Madame Yelena, "but you will be leaving the academy. You have a very important... Ahh... Assesment coming up. We will need you utmost compliance." Because it seems, all the indoctrination and inducing fear is not enough to break this little lady. But they will break her… soon.

"Okay. What am I to do?" It's been a year since she found out about the truth of HYDRA, but sometimes she forgets, after all they've been nothing but good to her all these years. After eighty-nine kills, 7 long term infiltrations and a hell of a lot more under her belt she can't possibly see what kind of test they want her to do. She's done it all.

"You'll see when you get there." She says, a frown creasing her forehead.

They've arrived at the hanger and she waits for the quinjet to shimmer into view. Madame Yelena grips her hand tightly before leading her on board.

She straps herself in and swings her feet forward and back because it relaxes her and, she hates to admit it, HYDRA is _scary_. It's frightening, and now that she hates HYDRA, she's in danger. Because she knows what HYDRA does to those that oppose them.

She glances around, looking at all the guards and then Madame Yelena. It's not like she isn't always looking for a way out! But they're in the air already, the only way out is down. And they would only catch her. And torture her. And kill her. She has to wait. But isn't that all she's been doing? She's still doing HYDRA's bidding, the only difference now is that she knows. Luna thinks it might be worse. She's knows that her mind might not actually be free of wrackspurts now and that a smiles can't just fix everything(or maybe anything). She's not an idiot. Maybe the blibbering humdingers aren't bad after all. They seem to like the Avengers (which aren't evil villains that plan to destroy the world) so they can't be that bad. Luna's whole world has been turned upside down and broken its spine.

"Are you alright Luna?" Asks Madame Yelena.

(Luna is her biggest investment so it's understandable to for her to want to care? She can't possibly _care_ for the child. Not _now_. Not ever.)

Luna tenses. She can't trust anyone here. So she lies. "Oh, I'm just excited." She smiles widely and hums a little to herself.

Except she knows by now smiles don't fix anything. Miss Yelena, who's known her since she was four and taught her how to be a liar, sees right through.

"Don't lie. You know better than to lie to me, Lune." She says sharply.

Luna sighs, resigned. "Where are we going?"

"To New Jersey, America." Madame Yelena sighs as well. "You will meet a man named Dr Whitehall. He will be a-assessing you."

This time it's Luna's turn to narrow her eyes, but she doesn't say anything. Instead she just fiddles with her tights. She still hasn't gotten changed so she's still wearing her tights, leotard and point shoes. In other words she's completely exposed. Nobody has said anything though.

At last Madame Yelena tells her to sleep. She doesn't want to but she has to. She no use to anyone if she's tired later. Especially not herself.

* * *

Luna wakes up later on a bed, with a white t-shirt, a pair of shorts and socks on. Apparently someone saw fit that she was changed and a little more comfortable. Her ballet stuff is folded into a neat pile beside her and Madame Yelena is nowhere to be seen. She's not in the hanger anymore. Luna frowns and looks around for some type of clock... There is none.

There is a door though.

So carefully, she slips out. Exploring is really the last thing on her mind right now but she has to. Quickly, she peaks in compartment by compartment, discovering that the quinjet is actually quite big. Or maybe everything looks so similar that she's going in circles. Maybe.

Just when she thinks she's heard her voice, a guard bumps into her. She almost kills him.

"Oh! Sorry!" She exclaims, releasing him from the headlock she's got him in and gingerly climbs off him. "You should be more careful. I almost killed you."

He doesn't say anything just nods and carries on. " _Wait_!" Luna says in a fluent Russian tongue. He stops and turns around.

" _Da_?" He quirks an eyebrow.

" _Have you seen... What am I doing? When I get there_?"

He purses his lips and sighs. "Just wait." He says, in perfect English. And then he's off.

Luna mentally shrugs, whatever's waiting for her can't be that bad. Right? She carries on towards the direction of Madame Yelena's voice and stops outside the door. She listens. If Madame won't tell her, she'll find out herself.

"And you think we should help you? How do we know you aren't wasting our resources and our time? Dr Whitehall's time is invaluable after all." Says a sleek, male voice. Who's Madame taking to?

"W-well, she's still a child and I don't think you've tested it on someone so young before. And, what is it that Whitehall says? Discovery requires testing?"

"Experimentation."

"Exactly, and she will be the next Widow, which is invaluable in itself. She's just growing rebellious. What better way to experiment?!" Luna doesn't think she's ever heard Madame Yelena sound so desperate before. Usually she has the upper hand. Luna frowns.

"I guess, although, I did not come here just so you could convince me you worth."

"I'm worth more than you will ever be to HYDRA!" Luna hears her Madame shouting, even through the supposedly soundproof walls.

"Sure. But anyway... I came here to barter. You weren't expecting this kind of service for free were you?"

"Of-of course not. Wha-" They suddenly stop. And then Luna cringes. "You come in here right now, Luna." Madame Yelena orders.

Sighing, Luna pushes open the door and narrows her eyes at the man talking to Madame.

"Luna, say hello to Mr Bakshi." she prompts, pulling Luna forward.

"Hello." She says sullenly.

"Good evening Luna. We're going to be arriving soon. Do you know what you'll be doing when we get here?" He smiles, teeth showing. Luna assesses him for a moment before giving a hesitant smile back.

She shakes her head.

"Hmmm... Well, I suppose its best that you don't." He chuckles, grinning widely. "Anyhow, we were just discussing this so your timing is impeccable. I understand, Luna, that you have a very specific skill set, my dear. And that you are top of the class?"

Luna looks at Madame Yelena, who nods slightly. "Yes sir."

"Well, I have a job for you Luna. You see, I'm aware that not all of my employees are as loyal as I might have wanted. And I thought, who better than an unassuming little girl to fish them out? Of course I can do it myself but this saves us a lot of time." He says without missing a beat.

Mentally, Luna sighs in relief. She really doesn't feel like killing today, this should be easy.

* * *

Before they walk into the building, Madame Yelena goes over the lies for the mission. She is to be Bakshi's visiting niece and (when asked) doesn't believe in all this HYDRA idealism. It's an easy job because it's true. Then she just has to pick out the liars.

Which really isn't too worrying.

Carefully, Mr Bakshi grasps her hand as they walk in. His palms are hot and clammy, he's scared. His pulse is beating.

He clears his throat, "Just so that this doesn't arouse any suspicion... Call me Sunil." He doesn't specify whether or not this is his really name or not but Luna thinks it is.

* * *

Some are friendly, some pretend to agree but don't really, some try to tell her -convince her really- and some are liars; scared, and much too scared to be a real traitor.

What Luna is really looking for are the evasive ones, the neutral ones. The ones that hum lightly and say, "I guess." Or "Maybe."

Honestly, Luna doesn't really like the people here. She can understand some because she was like them, and she can sympathise with some of them because she knows now... But she doesn't really have to like them. They're a bit feeble.

She's still caught in her muse when she notices a very pretty blonde lady. Wary and fearless. Luna very deliberately walks straight into her and crashes (with the perfect amount of drama) to the ground.

The blond stops and pulls her up firmly, smiling kindly. "Are you okay, sorry little miss."

Unexpectedly, Luna preens a little, feeling slightly taken aback at the first bout of genuine warmth she's felt in quite some time.

"Oh yes, I'm okay thank you!" Luna responds, in an English accent smiling, making herself flush a little. Okay, so they aren't _all_ that dislikeable.

"So what's a kid like you doing here? Wander off from your parents?" She says, eyeing Luna a little.

"Uncle Sunil brought me here because mummy isn't feeling well."

The lady's eyebrows raise considerably, "Oh? Well, I'm Bobbi. How are you finding it here so far?"

Time to play her part. "Alright I guess. Uncle Bakshi told me all about HYDRA and I'm not quite sure if I get it... Or like it really." She wrinkles her nose, "I find it a little silly."

Bobbi frowns a little but instantly smothers it. She winks and looks over her shoulder. "Well, I tell you what... I think so too."

Luna's breath hitches. She's telling the truth. "Okay." She whispers. Smiling, so not to be suspicious, she says, "I'm glad." Then she frowns. "I need to use the loo." And slips away.

 _Figures, Bobbi would be the mole._

* * *

As she leaves her toilet cell, she notices a rather frantic scientist lady who crashes into her.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry." She apologises to Luna, wiping her hands. Luna almost grins.

"Hi. My name's Luna."

The fact that Luna, a child, is in a top secret HYDRA facility suddenly seems to dawn as her as she gawks. Then blinks. Then fumbles a little more.

"I-I'm Simmons... Doctor Jemma Simmons that is." She stutters, her face red.

"Okay."

"S-so what are you doing here Luna. Children don't usually come her since it's HYDRA, you know, dangerous, ev-" Dr Jemma's eyes widen and her hand covers her mouth.

Luna doesn't have to be able to read minds to fill in the blank. Honestly, this woman is a terrible liar... What idiot thought she would make a good mole?!

Luna giggles, "It's okay, I don't really like it here either. I'm only here because I have to stay with Uncle Sunil for a little bit."

"Oh..." Dr Jemma sighs in relief, "Okay then. Um," she smiles, "See you later then, I guess. I have lots of important lab work to do. I'm sure, when you're older you'll know lots about science too!" She beams, the smile almost reaching her eyes.

Luna thinks she might like her too. She likes honest people. _Nice_ honest people, that is.

* * *

Just before she heads back to her designated room for the debrief, Luna bumps into somebody(again).

A dark haired woman with a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"Hail Hydra." She sighs happily. She's about to carry on down the corridor when Luna stops her. Something about her seems wrong and familiar... Like The Soldier but with more Wrackspurts, less Nargles!

"Wait!" Luna calls.

The lady turns around, eyes narrowing. "I'm Luna, I'm visiting Uncle Bakshi. What's your name?"

"I'm Kara." Says Kara, beaming like this has made her day. But Luna peers into her cloudy eyes and frowns. There is someone there, just buried in rubbish and wrackspurts and junk.

Luna checks the time on a clock, then looks back at Kara who's waiting for her attention like a puppy. "Okay, bye. I must be going now." Luna nods, and flounces off, not bearing to look at her a second longer.

* * *

When she's debriefing, she tells them everything. Who to watch out for, who lied, who agreed. She does leave out Bobbi and Dr Jemma Simmons though. Rather deliberately. And she doesn't bother to mention Kara.

It's a bad idea really but Luna very much wants to just _run_.

* * *

After two hours, Mr Bakshi leads Luna upstairs to a room and they wait outside. Luna hasn't seen Madame Yelena in five hours.

A man with fine, white hair and spectacles greets them at the door. He smiles, showing a full set of glistening white teeth. "Hello Luna. My name is Dr Whitehall. You're going to be my experiment today."

Luna isn't really quite sure how to respond to that so she just says "Okay."

He extends his hand towards her and she lets him lead her to the end of the room, past an antique looking office area and to a sparser, more sterile looking area, to sit on an ugly metal chair.

"Now, Luna," he starts firmly," If this is going to work, you are going to have to cooperate with me." He pauses and she nods.

Mr Bakshi leaves the room.

"I'm going to fasten your body to this chair, okay? So that you can't move." He says smoothly.

"Okay." Luna says again, allowing herself to be bound, allowing curiosity to take over her mind. By the end of it she cannot move even her neck. Or blink.

There's a screen in front of her which turns on suddenly, revealing a swirl of disjointed colours. Luna can't look away, she feels… feels… entranced… hypnotised… numbed by it.

"Now, do exactly as I say." Smiles Dr Whitehall gently. "Look at the screen and concentrate on it." Luna follows. "Now, _take a deep breath_." She does. " _Clear your mind_." She thinks of nothing. " _Comply. Comply and you will be rewarded."_ She does. And just stares into the winding array of colour, opening up her mind.

" _Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. Comply. Comply and you will be rewarded."_

He says again and again. Luna doesn't pay attention to the wrackspurts filtering in though. All she can do is comply. She wants to be rewarded. It feels so good to clear her mind. Take a deep breath. She's been so, so, so tired… and so scared lately. She just wants to comply, give up or give in. Relax… clear mind.

This is nice.

So peaceful.

So warm.

 _Take a deep breath._

 _Clear your mind._

 _Comply._

 _Comply and you will be rewarded._

She feels so completely calm, even though she's drowning. She doesn't want to think...

A sudden thought jerks through her and she remembers looking at Kara, the Soldier and (although it hurts to think of him) Mr Loki. She remembers them and can feel her brain slowly decomposing. It's a strange, chilling sensation, like her brain is being boiled and cooled at the same time.

She knows what's happening.

Luna forces her eyes away. It hurts now. So bad.

"Is the experiment done yet?" She asks very clearly.

Mr Whitehall looks taken aback. She glances at the clock. "It's been four hours, it must be done by now, right? I'm a bit hungry." She forces herself to smile a little.

 _She needs to run_.

He narrows his eyes. "No," he says sharply, "the experiment is not done. Now focus... "

Luna zones out, she's tired, her eyes are stinging. She should have just ran like Wanda said and never come back. She's had countless chances. But she was scared. Maybe if she had stayed with those Avengers...

Luna frowns, trying to think through the fog of wrackspurts. It's not too late now, is it?

* * *

It's been five hours now. Luna's been allowed to blink, once, before her eyes were restrained again. However, this hour, Luna has a plan.

She waits for Dr Whitehall to turn around before she uses her powers and there's a crack and a click before the whole building short circuits.

Luna snaps off her restraints and runs.

It takes the building ten seconds to start up the backup power generator. It takes Luna one second to get out the room and four to reach the emergency staircase.

She bumps into Bobbi who takes one look at her and drags her to the nearest window and tells her to climb; scale it down.

Luna just shakes her head and tells her that jumping (or rather landing) seems to be her speciality. And plunges down from the second top floor of an at least forty story building.

As always, time slows for her and she lands gracefully.

A second later the building has power again.

* * *

She does know New Jersey. She can draw a map of it instantly. She can navigate pretty much anywhere really. The problem is, she doesn't know where to go. All the places she can think of are HYDRA.

Which really isn't good.

So she avoids cameras and puts as much distance between her and _them_ as possible.

The only place which can help her now is SHIELD... But they're gone now. The only people who could help her are the Avengers, but they're in New York... She sighs, or God.

Luna closes her eyes for a moment to reorder her thoughts. No. New York isn't too far away, maybe a few hours depending on the transport. She isn't going to kid herself and pretend that everything's okay. Because Luna won't lie anymore(at least not to herself). But maybe things finally seem to be getting better...

No home seems better than a bad home after all.

 **A/N- Okay, I hope you enjoyed it and it was worth the wait? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW... if you liked it of course or have any helpful advice! a lack of reviews feeds a lack of motivation, y'know? Okay bye guys. Have a good day!**

 **Mercia x**


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